Upchuck is by far the most unfortunate of the three, as even being swung gently in a hammock by an ocean breeze can have unfortunate consequences. To name a few places that i have "upchucked"; planes, cars, boats, my bathroom, stranger's bathrooms, Broadway (the street), Santanas ( the parking lot), my couch, my bed, all over my childhood stuffed animal SHAMU and lets not forget my all time favorite, out the window of a moving vehicle going over 30mph. Mother was not pleased. Today I am happy to report that I got nauseous while resting and stretching on a moving chiropractic table. Enough said.
Twisted has the beautiful quality of being both mental and physical. Sure, according to the standards of American culture I am intelligent but I can in no way claim to be street smart or even directionally smart. Lost and confused is not just rare occurrence in my life, it is a state of being that I unconsciously destroy myself with. If it is not attached to my body do not get attached. Coffee cups, sweaters, whole unopened packages of Dudleys sour-doe bread have spent dark eternities in forgotten drawers miles away from my current residence. Usually, a flare of frustration will arise when I become conscious of yet another misplacement but then I am typically lulled by time into forgetting objects have ever existed. I pray for any future unborn children that they do not succumb to the same fate as the loaf of bread I recently left behind at work. Unfortunately, a loaf of bread and a newborn are of comparable size.
I do not like being upturned. Not even a little. Graced with the gift of fearing head trauma, I have avoided putting my head near hard surfaces for most of my life. So great was my fear of being upturned as a child that my mom had to purchase "diving lessons" so that I could place my head in water without an emotional breakdown. I do not like my life being upturned either. I struggle with change. I throw tantrums, I cry, sometimes I vomit but everything and anything always finds a way to change. This fall everything will change and I am left several paces behind in a single handed protest.
Brain: "Change is a wonderful opportunity to grow and discover who you are and what you can accomplish."
Me: "That is the most cliche' crap I have ever heard. Go to hell."
Current state of Existence: Stubborn 2 year old digging her uncut nails into the present.
Future state of Existence: Beautiful, beautiful butterfly.
The END
#1 I find it disturbing how many of the "upchuck" memories I was witness to. Thnx roomie ;0) #2 It's funny that you don't like to be "upturned" and yet you flipped your car and woke up up side down in high school.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot "All Over My Purse"
ReplyDelete