Tis the Season

You know that the Christmas season has arrived when you enter into the craft haven and store known to the common people as Michaels. All of the obvious clues are out on display. Singing robot Santas greet you at every corner and the line to the checkout extends way back into the unusual button collectors section. On the surface it is a very "merry atmosphere" but spend 4 minutes waiting for the obese cat lady to make her yarn selection so she can unblock the aisle and you will sense that something is very amiss.

I could not help but notice that people at Michaels are angry. The regular crafty people are far by the most disgruntled of all since their store has been overtaken by seasonal hooligans who slowly suck up all the customer service with their large purchases of decorations and seasonal candles. The commonplace Michaels employee is no longer available to spend 45 minutes discussing the merits of different types of felt or to calmly explain that the yarn they want will have to be ordered. The crafters wait impatiently by the checkout yelling complaints to anyone who will listen straining their at risk sedentary lifestyle hearts. The Michaels employees themselves pull by far the shortest end of the stick. While simultaneously trying to heard and check out endless holiday shoppers, they calmly try to placate the yarn lady who sprays spit on their checkout counter while ranting. The holiday shoppers who are lulled to the craft center by discounts and holiday spirit quickly sense the stressful atmosphere and become frantic shoving ornaments and wrapping paper into their carts while knocking over gingerbread house displays in their rush to purchase their items and leave the store.

I personally made my selections quickly and left dodging the evil eye of the homeless man on a bike whom I previously recognized harassing a Michaels manager about the lack of "baggers" at the checkout line.

So to all you San Diegans who are just a string of lights short of reaching the peak of your Christmas tree, be forewarned and think twice before donning your light sweatshirt to brave the temperate environment and holiday shopping season at Michaels.