Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas However it Comes


This year Christmas lightly tapped me on the shoulder and then suddenly attacked me from behind. As I get up and brush the mudd of my knees I regard the aftermath of this holiday season....


This is what I have learned

1) There is no Christmas vacation for working adults, no pat on the back and no 2 weeks to "catch up on things"


2) Christmas traffic in Mission Valley makes me consider suicide and gave me one panic attack straight up. NEVER GO THERE IT IS A VORTEX OF DOOM EVEN WHEN IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS


3) Christmas traffic on the 5 freeway makes me very sad especially when I missed Santaland Diaries the play based on the writing of David Sedaris for no reason other than people needed to drive to "see their families" at Christmastime.


4) San Diego should develop a subway system ASAP because I hate driving for no other purpose than to be stuck in traffic and to be late to everything


5) Rain makes things very wet....including me and the traffic


6) I would sell my soul for a working umbrella (still waiting for this offer if anyone's interested)


7) Not going to a church service on Christmas eve makes Christmas seem a little inconsequential


8) Santa from the Santaland at Macy's in New York looks like a large creepy live plastic doll


9) Approximately 1200 people will gather around the skating rink at Rockefellar Center for the sole purpose of watching a zamboni drive around in circles on the ice...for an hour


10) Christmas will be better next year....I hope