SEASONAL LOTIONS HAVE ARRIVED

As the seasonal season approaches, I find myself quenching down the small surges of joy that arise deep within my soul as I pass the seasonal lotion display at Bath and Body Works. I know that it is all just a cheap ploy to sell more lotion but a small part of me believes that the human race in December needs to rub pumpkin spice latte all over their dry cracked winter skin. Inevitably every December, girls and a few select males build up a treasure trove of seasonal lotions that allows them to never buy lotion again for the rest of their adult lives. Unfortunately for me, I have not played my cards right. I personally have an inaccessible stash of lotions that are inconveniently located an hour and a half away from my current residence. They lie there in the dormant tomb of my childhood room for eternity. I usually never think of them. They sit cold and congealing in their plastic containers with no hope of actually being used. I imagine them gaining hope when they hear distant footsteps and then the aftermath of depression when the door remains forever unopened. They probably discuss the glory days of sitting in bright window displays watching the passing of seasonal shoppers and the touch of grandmothers reading their labels. Despite this tragic reality I inflict on innocent expired seasonal lotion bottles, I am still tempted to enter into the warmth of the current seasonal lotion display at my local mall. I want to buy the lotion that reminds me of a freshly cut Christmas tree and yes I want to give it as a gift to others who will most likely leave the unopened bottle to congeal for all of eternity. The great and shameful secret is that millions of unused gallons of seasonal lotion are probably sitting in cabinets all over America. Lotion that could soften the skin of entire third world countries. Regardless, this year I will add to my growing collection and next year I will buy more lotion at my local target. I am rich in seasonal spirit and most importantly in seasonal lotions.