Wasted Saturday

I HAD plans for this past saturday.

Not anything life changing, just your run of mill I feel good about myself accomplishments. The small victories that add change in nickels to ones happy bank.

Saturday I wake up far too late to be productive in a stifling heat. Sweat gathers in the low points of gravity on my body and the sheets vindictively threaten to choke me.

And still I do not rise.

Two hours pass.

The sun continues its rise into the sky scorching my exposed skin.

Once I reach the pinnacle of feeling disgusting I use the last few molecules of glucose floating around my bloodstream to heave the useless mass of my body to the kitchen.

There, I prepare a shameful breakfast consisting of something I don't remember. Empowered with new energy I decide to clean.

I push a broom a couple of times and become breathless. The heat of the world seems to be sitting on my chest. I move on to the bedroom where I furiously rip the bedclothes of my bed with the aim to neatly replace them. This proves to be too much for my cancerous paper boy current state of existence so I slump over on a pile of pillows.

Two Hours pass.

I awake in a pool of my own drool on the floor in the midst of my destroyed bedclothes. I feel shameful and dissatisfied with my own life so I decide to cheer myself up with This American Life. In a coma like state I listen to stories about death and I cry.

Two Hours pass.

I have listened to several episodes of This American Life. I contemplate how interesting life can be and how boring my own life can be. I get depressed.

Two Hours pass.

I finally realize I forgot my cell phone in my car and that it has been in the car for 16 hours. I also realize the motivation to get the phone out of the car is at approximately 0%. I decide to lay down on the couch to think about the situation.

One Hour passes......................................................